new playlist:
We put out a new ep yesterday. The process of putting out music as an independent musician is….quite weird. Beyond the fact that streaming is a mess, (try competing against everyone with a label + manager, with connections to people who make playlists, and then remember you’re competing against every established “oldie” act, making it increasingly difficult to get discovered…then remember music shouldn’t be about competition in the first place), it’s a weird sensation to work on something, often with close friends and collaborators for so long and to release it one day, usually a year later and hope and pray someone on the internet listens and likes it. There’s an odd separation of feelings and reality on release day. It’s fun to share something we’ve worked on, with the intention being: this is yours now. We can let go and move on. But the anticipation of the actual day, checking my phone even more than I usually do - and for what? - is honestly something I’d rather avoid.
(Hopefully I don’t sound like a whiny baby! I love making music regardless, but the anxieties of this stuff is good to talk about out in the open.)
A while ago, Colton and I agreed to keep making music with each other regardless of the outcome. It's too much pressure and disappointment to have expectations each time we release music.
I’ve been thinking about what keeps me motivated. If I get too in my head about all this stuff - the things that don’t really matter, its hard to focus. I recently reread this poem (its a good one) - and it really resonated. I think it's important to keep the channel open - no matter if you think whatever is flowing out is good or bad. (And just as important - to not judge so quickly.) I think I spent a lot of this year blocking the channel. I got too caught up in things that don’t matter, focused on bad feelings and didn’t give myself space or patience to try to mess up.
I hope you’re having a lovely fall day.
some links:
unfortunately this is resonating rn!
on iuds: a friend wrote this one! and this personal story was also infuriating
taking fall fashion inspo from the goat